Nice or Naughty List For Christmas 2013
By: Don J. Hampton
Twas the season, and as far as Bubba is concerned it’s “Tis the season,” still. While everyone else is making a list of New Year’s resolutions, Bubba is making out his Christmas shopping list for December, 2013. While a resolution for the New Year is made to improve one’s character or habits, Bubba’s list is going to make better shoppers next year out of his family and friends.
Just like Santa, he has a list and he is checking it twice to see exactly who shopped naughty or nice for him. For those that bought Bubba “Fishing Stuff” their names are going on the nice list. This will be very beneficial for these individuals because he’ll shop for them very meticulously and with much thought and care. I would believe his motives for this are truly self-serving.
His two favorites and on the top of his 2012 nice list were Bubbette and Bubba, Jr. They know him real well and know about the list he makes after Christmas each year. They always know just the right items to buy him. It also makes shopping for him real easy. Each year they buy him gift certificates so he can go buy his own “Fishing Stuff”. Bubba keeps their names on the top of his list.
For those individuals that gave Bubba a present that didn’t include “Fishing Stuff” and bought him items that just cannot or will not fit into his way of life or thinking, well, they will find their name on his naughty list.
I quoted the old cliché to Bubba, “It’s not the gift that counts but the thought!” Of course he quoted me back one of his own, “Well, they should have put a little more thought into these,” he said holding up a paisley tie and a potted plant. On those two presents I had to agree with him.
I’ve known him longer than anyone and I haven’t seen him in a tie for at least 30 years. I’ve gone to weddings, graduations, funerals, baptisms, and even a couple of bar mitzvahs with him and he has never worn a tie. He cleans up pretty nicely but you can’t force him to wear a tie. He has even informed me that when the good Lord takes him he will not be wearing a tie. I’d say he feels pretty strongly about a tie.
Bubba is the type that wouldn’t say anything to the person that gave a present to him and he wouldn’t even try to take something back to a store but he always seems to find a good use for everything. So don’t be surprised or laugh when you see his boat tied up to a stump on Lake Fork with a paisley tie, unless you’re the one on his naughty list.
When it came to the potted plant, this really spurred my curiosity. Whoever gave Bubba this surely didn’t know about his naughty list. I even had the pleasure of watching him open this one. What really surprised me at first was how many times he checked the name card. I asked him later why he kept checking the name card and he explained, “The first three times I was just making sure it wasn’t meant for Bubbette and the fourth time I wanted to make sure I remembered who sent that to me!” I’m going shopping with Bubba next year just to see what that individual is going to get. Knowing Bubba the way I do it will probably be purchased at a gas station.
I did ask Bubba what his plans were for the potted plant just because I have one of those inquiring minds and you know how that goes. He had two options he was going to go with. First he was going to see if Bubbette wanted it, but since she doesn’t really have a green thumb either I expect it will go to Bubba’s second option. He’s going to put some earthworms in it, keep the soil moist, put some coffee grounds in it occasionally so the worms will reproduce. That way he’ll have plenty of bait for bream fishing in the summer.
If he does do the latter though, wouldn’t that mean that person should be transferred to the nice list because technically it is now “Fishing Stuff”. If that is the case and he uses the tie the way he plans to, shouldn’t that person’s name be transferred to the nice list. Oh well, I guess it really is the thought that counts.